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Manners in church 
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A friend sent me this link to a video from the Irish Film Institute about how (not) to behave in a Catholic Mass:
http://ifiplayer.ie/radharc-manners-in-church/
It set me to wondering, what grinds your gears in church?

For example: I can't stand it when someone comes to a service and doesn't join in at all and doesn't seem to want to be there. I feel sad for them and the people around them.

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Thu Oct 06, 2016 7:53 am
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I dislike being applauded for leading worship. This is church, not a concert. The focus is God; the musicians are just helping.

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Thu Oct 06, 2016 12:34 pm
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CofEFur wrote:
For example: I can't stand it when someone comes to a service and doesn't join in at all and doesn't seem to want to be there. I feel sad for them and the people around them.


As a catholic (we tend to be somewhat subdued at mass) who frequently attended upbeat and enthusiastic protestant services, these people may just be new. Maybe they want to join in but they are too uncomfortable with being so outwardly or enthusiastically expressive with their feelings and faith. Maybe they are just at the mass to observe and see if it is right for them? All in all there may be a reasonable explanation for that behavior.

Sleet wrote:
I dislike being applauded for leading worship. This is church, not a concert. The focus is God; the musicians are just helping.

I agree and I think I know exactly what you mean, but I think applause can be polite and not overindulging. Our pastor often thanks the readers and music ministry at the end of mass with a short round of applause, and it comes across pretty appropriate in that everyone seems to recognize the purpose of the mass and the music performed in it.


I'll share!
I have a bit of a pet peeve with patriotic (or traditional american) songs being sung at mass/worship (i've only ever seen this at the end/recessional during national holidays). I do think nation and church should be kept seperate; I tend to dislike the idea that God 'backs' a certain country or political regime, especially when that country could easily make decisions contrary to Christian teaching.

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Thu Oct 06, 2016 11:31 pm
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I saw a great bumper sticker that said "God bless all nations." But that's a bit of a tangent.
TabbyTim wrote:
Our pastor often thanks the readers and music ministry at the end of mass with a short round of applause
I think that's a lovely gesture! I'd appreciate that.

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Fri Oct 07, 2016 12:15 am
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@TabbyTim: so, I'm in an Anglican seminary and the particular guy I'm thinking of is a seminarian like me: I think it should be reasonable to expect people who are called to be priests to join in and not just sit there and fidget. But, in general: I agree some people get the most out of Mass and other services by simply being present.
On 'patriotic' services/songs: the only one we ever get in the UK is the national anthem on Armistice Day (11th November). Of course we pray that God would bless the Queen on a regular basis, but I think the attitude in a monarchy is different from that of a republic. By asking God's blessing on the Queen and her Government, we're asking for his guidance on the nation. God certainly doesn't wave a Union Flag!

@Sleet: I'd forgotten about that! Lichfield Cathedral's organist actually got so sick of tourists applauding him after Evensong each day that he got the cathedral to reprint the service sheets with a polite reminder that the organ music is part of the worship and that if you'd like to thank the organist, do it personally.
Also: like the bumper sticker!

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Fri Oct 07, 2016 2:43 am
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Sleet wrote:
I dislike being applauded for leading worship. This is church, not a concert. The focus is God; the musicians are just helping.

When I applaud in church after a song, it's normally not so much to thank the band or cheer on the band as it is just an extension of my worship of God. Like, they might do a solemn and awesome worship song like "Mighty to Save" or "The Stand" or "Here I Am To Worship" or "Our God Is An Awesome God" and I'll have been worshipping with my hands above my head and when the song finishes I clap with my hands still above my head but I'll be looking towards the ceiling and thinking of God and not of the band. So it's kind of thanking God for touching me during the worship, I guess...

For me, probably the worst thing you can do in church is to talk or walk around during prayer. You want to do it during worship? Fine, as long as you're not disturbing other people. But definitely don't during prayer. That's just disrespectful.

I also don't like seeing people taking pictures of the band or the preacher or anything like that. Fine, use your phone to look up bible verses or to make notes on but this is church and not a concert. You can take a selfie with the guest preacher afterwards and if you want a cool picture of the lights on the stage then take it before the service starts.

Something else that annoyed me when I was in church in Townsville once was that they sang Leonard Cohen's "Halleleujah" and used it as a worship song. I mean, that is NOT a worship song and should not be used as such. So, only sing church songs in church, please.

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Sat Oct 08, 2016 1:39 am
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Quote:
Something else that annoyed me when I was in church in Townsville once was that they sang Leonard Cohen's "Halleleujah" and used it as a worship song. I mean, that is NOT a worship song and should not be used as such. So, only sing church songs in church, please.


I see where you're coming from, but I would say that 'Hallelujah' is more suitable than most seeing as Leonard Cohen is a believing Jew (for example in his lyrics, he never writes God, rather Gd - which is a Jewish mark of respect for the name of the Lord). That said, I'm not a huge fan of worship songs, I love traditional church music: choral Mass settings, hymns etc.
I think any secular song could be a song for worship, especially if it is a Christian singer or songwriter, because we use our talents to praise God, kind of saying thank you for our gifts.

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Sat Oct 08, 2016 1:47 am
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Someone at my church played Hallelujah with the lyrics rewritten to be about Christmas.

It was kind of weird.

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Sat Oct 08, 2016 2:10 am
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My main pet peeve is people making life harder for the technicians (probably mostly because most people regard it as some kind of (legitimate) magic that will work whatever happens. Mostly this is people passing behind the technician's table to not disturb the service (but the techs need to be focused) or the sometimes pretty big errors in the projection and music lists, such as listing the wrong bible passages or songs that we don't even have in the projection system.

Preachers or praise leaders walking all over the stage without taking the microphone with them is also pretty annoying for the sound tech.

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Sat Oct 29, 2016 2:49 pm
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I was shown this a little while ago and had to share it with you all. It's how to properly, politely and safely engage in Pentecostal worship. ^^

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Mon Apr 24, 2017 1:30 am
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Haha, the clapping one is so very true. And very useful for people to know. :3 My suburban congregation is so bad at clapping at the right beat.

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Mon Apr 24, 2017 12:14 pm
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One more thing that irritates me no end: after being greeted at the door, quite some members of our congregation still feel it's necessary to to shake hands and personally greet everyone already inside... including the technicians that are hard at work getting everything ready for the service. That's not a big deal if there are only one or two people doing it, but more than ten people every week becomes annoyingly distracting. I find it kinda lacking respect when I'm clearly concentrating at the screen or the mixing desk trying to figure out a problem or getting last minute changes into the system and then I suddenly get a hand shoved in my face from someone that wants to have a little social chat.

That's actually not just when doing tech. People are also happily oblivious to the juggling you have to do when you come in with two full hands and a kid that clings to your legs like glue every time there are unexpected people around (and people she sees every week are still overwhelming, although it takes a lot less time to warm up to them than before.) Note that I do tech every time I'm in, so if I have my daughter with me, I have to watch over her, fix tech problems in my own area, supervise the other techs *and* have a little talk with whomever has some time to kill before the service starts.

(I might be kinda bitter about this. Maybe I should discuss it with my therapist... or just wear a t-shirt that says "Distraction will lead to sin.. against the Third Commandment" :) )

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Mon Apr 24, 2017 2:22 pm
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To me it depends on the church; some people are only going to be comfortable in a church where everyone is shouting incoherently, dancing, waving flags, clapping, etc -- others are only going to be comfortable in a very calm and reverent setting. That's not to say that church is about what's comfortable for us but I don't think somebody should be shamed for choosing a quiet church over a loud one (or vice versa). I've been to a decent number of services that would fit both of those sides (moreso on the quiet side) and there's an aggravating amount of hostility - the 'quiet' churches accusing the louder ones of having 'rock concerts' and the louder ones accusing the quiet ones of being 'stuffy' or even 'not really worshipping'
there was a church near where I used to live that was infamous because if you raised your hands during a worship song they would literally send an usher to escort you out of the service and ask you not to return

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Wed Apr 26, 2017 9:45 am
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What... what kind of church would even do that? What denomination?

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Wed Apr 26, 2017 4:33 pm
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I mean maybe that had issues of people over doing it in the past, and the more conservative members didn't like it?

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Thu Apr 27, 2017 12:51 am
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It was a Southern Baptist church. Don't write off the whole denomination though because the church I grew up in was also Southern Baptist and raising your hands is/was perfectly okay.

I don't know all of the details but there were a couple stories of people visiting that particular church (which was not a small church by any means, also) and having that happen to them. As far as I know nearly all of their deacons and staff were older people and very conservative and considered displays like simple hand raising to be disruptive and irreverent and possibly unbiblical

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Thu Apr 27, 2017 8:58 am
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My guess is perhaps the church went through a schism and its counterpart was more charismatic, so they kind of made it a sore subject.

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