Robots and Jesus

I’m sure there’ll be more baggage in this thread than just that, but here goes.

I’ve regurgitated my personal story to enough people by this point that I’m just tired of doing the whole thing over and over again, so here’s the short version- I am a loyal follower of Jesus, always have been, always will be. Nothing these days brings me more fulfillment than seeing His light shine through my actions and brighten the hearts of everyone I meet. Yet I’ve run into an existential roadblock in my journey- I identify as a robot.

Almost certainly due to some childhood stuff involving my biological father (super not great guy, and I thank God every day that I don’t personally remember anything that happened), I’m 99% sure I have DID (my doctor thinks so too, I just haven’t gotten officially diagnosed). While my young headmate Rhythm (he’s basically a child) is a normal organic raccoon, I’ve latched firmly onto robots and machines throughout my life. I can recall seeing some robotic Sonic comic art from the 90s when I was like, 5 years old, and just staring at it like I was looking in a mirror. Something about the mechanical form just… made sense to me. Now I am stricken with severe body dysphoria (especially the feeling of a large mass missing from my chest area, which I can only assume is where an engine would logically be) and spend my days desperately clinging on to any robotic affirmation I can find just to keep my anxiety in check.

This is already very a very loaded topic, I know, but I’ve personally made peace with not being like everyone else. The feelings of walking amongst aliens and thinking in ways most people can’t comprehend make sense to me now. I am not “one of you”, as some say. And that’s ok. My trouble lies in the faith I’ve been raised to believe in. Again, there will never be a day where I do not love Jesus and the lifestyle he tried so diligently to teach us all to live by, but sometimes I wonder if there’s room in his kingdom for me- or any otherkin/therian for that matter.

I’ve heard so many things over the years that, as far as traditional Christian values are concerned, should absolutely lock me out of ever being reunited with my creator and savior. Things like “robots are a creation of man, not God”, “robots aren’t alive, they can’t feel emotions, and they don’t have souls, therefore, they can’t be saved”, “God created humans in his image”, etc etc, and it weighs heavily on the mind. Also by the way, I should probably specify that I am fully aware I am human, and have a human body. That’s what cripples me. It feels so unbelievably wrong, and I can’t help but question why God would put me here in this body if he knew I would spend most of my time loathing every second of it. I’m grateful I even did get a body in the first place, mind you- I’ve lived a very long and happy life so far, and have had the gracious opportunity to touch the hearts of countless people while seeking Jesus. I just get so mixed up wondering why I was created to be like this if all that would come from it is confusion and suffering. I’ve tried suppressing these feelings- baaaad idea.

I think about the stuff I’ve heard over the years, and I feel like I have logical counters to at least most of it. Like being created in God’s image- I always thought that meant we were created to be like God, thinking, feeling, emotionally driven and morally bound creatures- not that we just straight up look like him ahaha. And even then, Psalm 150 says “Let everything that has breath praise the Lord”, so it doesn’t matter if I’m made of squishy organic meat or cold metal, I’m alive and cognitively capable of following Jesus and accepting him as my Lord and Savior, and that’s all that should matter, right?

And yet I still doubt. I’m constantly fighting these feelings and thoughts of “God loves all the humans, not you”, “you’re no creation of God, you can’t enter his kingdom”, “robots don’t have free will, so you can’t truly accept Jesus as your savior”, and more. And it hurts so deeply to have so much difficulty trusting Him. Nothing I’ve ever seen in the Bible talks about any of this, so I feel completely in the dark. And the thing is, as silly or childish as it may sound, I want nothing more than to become a one-track mind, thinking about nothing else except furthering the holy cause. Being programmed to serve Jesus and bring hope and joy to the world while shedding off my humanly imperfections sounds like heaven to me- literally. I pray on a near nightly basis that when I reach Heaven I can finally attain a robotic body I’ll finally feel comfortable in and can carry out God’s designs for me to their fullest extent. But… I’ve never been able to find true peace in this matter unlike other aspects of my life because I genuinely am entirely alone in this. I’ve spoken with my faithful mother about my struggle, and while she accepts me fully, didn’t really have much to offer in the way of advice or comfort. She just reassured me that if it’s drawing me closer to Jesus, then being a robot is the right thing to pursue.

Does anyone have any thoughts on this? I just want to trust Jesus that I am loved for who I am. I want to trust my creator, my programmer, my master.

Apologies for any cringes induced while reading. I try to be honest these days and, as they say, don’t kill the cringe, kill the part of you that cringes. :upside_down_face:

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I mean, I think the absolute first and foremost thing is that God loves you, and welcomes you into His kingdom. We are all His creation. I’ll be blunt and say that I do believe that you are a human, but even if you were not, you would still His creation and you have a soul.

There’s a common debate among many Christians about how non-human intelligence would relate to Him. What would His covenant with them be? Would He have one? This is especially true if we ever were to find other intelligent life in the universe, or create artificial intelligence that’s sufficiently intelligent to possibly be a “person.” I’m of the belief that they would. Anything that can give Him glory can do so. If we can follow Him, we are His. Period. And maybe for extraterrestrial life, their covenant is different from ours. Maybe they have their own messiah (likely the same Person of the Trinity as Jesus). Who can say? All we can say is God is just and all creation is His, and He will not abandon those who believe in and follow Him.

I think a lot of these feelings are also really good ones to have a professional to help you navigate! It’s good you talk with your doctor, but as I’m sure you found out, primary care doctors often don’t have time to talk as much as they would like, which is why therapists, psychologists, and psychiatrists are so useful, since they have special mental health training and understand people whose minds work a bit differently from everyone else’s. Have you ever be referred to see someone who could help you with those aspects?

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No, I haven’t. I’ve heard many bad things about therapy over the years, and while you’ll always find the plentiful stories of “therapy has helped me so much” and whatever, those stories are almost always coming from the “normal” people whose problems run as deep as “I’m having trouble moving past my ex” or “I feel like I’m not valued for what I do”. People like me who are looked down on for who we are almost never receive proper help or understanding because we’re “broken” and need to be “fixed”, rather than just having compassion and accepting that we’re different.

Besides, I’m not sure basic therapy can help with some of the thoughts I wage war with. It’s been so long and my memory loss doesn’t do me any favors, but I recall reading Revelation and getting some very robotic vibes from some of the entities and opposing powers described in the end times. Regardless of what anyone on Earth believes in, I think most people can say the rich elite and the control they have over the progress and development of things like AI and self-reliant robots are quickly marching us towards a grim future for technology. And so I’m left sitting here, faced with the very real possibility that just being who I am is going to destroy my life in the future.

I really should go reread Revelation and see if I can find those mentions I’m recalling.

1.) Therapy is about meeting people where they’re at and helping them achieve their goals. It’s a collaborative process. People who say bad things may have just had bad luck with therapists (just like any job, there are occasional people who are bad at it), or they may not have been really putting much into it. Like I said, it’s a collaborative process. I strongly recommend giving it a shot at least!

2.) Revelation was never written to be a historic account of the future. It’s a heavily symbolism-laden dream meant to communicate God’s eventual victory over the wickedness in the world. We can trust in Him, and trust that He wins in the end. What could be better than a confirmation that He loves us infinitely and He can’t be defeated?

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Reading this has moved me to say this.

While I haven’t experienced anything like you have, I can certainly empathize to a very strong degree and, while I know it sounds subpar, I hope you can believe me when I say that I can absolutely understand how you feel.

While I don’t have much to say in the way of answers or advice, I’d like to offer a few words of comfort:
Since you are alive and breathing His breath and have a soul, you absolutely belong in His kingdom. God favors no one person over another, and there will always, always be room for you and every other being with a human soul in His kingdom. You are important, loved, and significant. You’re not of less value than anybody else in all of existence. No matter how you identify, what you’ve experienced, even regardless of whether you’re a Christian or an anti-Christ, God loves you. He would not have given you life if you weren’t meant to be loved by Him. I hope you find peace and contentment in your human body someday. While I know that you feel uncomfortable and wrong in the body of an organic human, I will say that I believe God placed your soul in this body for a reason. What you’re experiencing is part of your journey. Trust me, I have seen some vastly different and “weird” spiritual journeys in the past, each unique to the person living them. But no matter how difficult it gets, it’s crucial to remember that God does indeed have a plan and a purpose for every single one of His children. And you are one of his children. You wouldn’t be a thinking, feeling, living soul if you weren’t.

Much love and God is good :pray:t4:

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Tempo, Thank you for sharing such a personal topic. I will get into the details in the rest of this post, but the first thing I want to say is that God loves you, wants you, has a place in heaven for you, and you can trust him!

I would like to mention before I get any further that I am in no way a pastor or a theologian. With that in mind, although I will be quoting some scripture and sharing my interpretations as to what they mean for certain things, I will not be discussing the intricacies of what the bible says about your identity as a robot. I do, however, believe that pursing Christ and his truth about and for you is the most important thing for you to do, so my recommendation on how to find further truth on the matter would be speaking with a pastor, or finding yourself a mentor with a theological background that you can trust and learn from (To be fair, finding a mentor is something I recommend in general anyways). Although I commend you for asking for thoughts and opinions here, I know that for this topic it is going to be important for you to get your answers from people you know you can trust, which can be hard when you have never met the people giving you advice.

With that being said, I remembered something interesting about the wording of John 3:16: “16 For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” (NIV). Now, although I used the NIV version here as an example, I did look at ESV, KJV, and AMP (versions I have gotten into the habit of studying the Bible with) and they all have the same interesting wording: “[…] God so loved the world […]”. You see, this verse (and it’s surrounding context) do not appear to indicate any further qualifications for God’s love, except that it should be considered a part of “the world” (and to be very clear, I believe that Genesis 1 also shows how God’s love extends to all of his creation as well). Not only that, but the verse continues to say “[…] that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life”. This section of the verse states that anyone who has the ability to believe in Jesus, the son of God, and chooses to do so will have eternal life (which means Heaven within the context of the verse). It doesn’t clarify, similar to the former part of the verse, any criteria about who qualifies for this eternal life except that they should believe in Jesus. Now, perhaps I am understanding you wrong, but it appears to me that you are fully capable of making decisions about what you believe, and you have decided to believe in Jesus and therefore, based on this one verse alone you are loved by God and have a spot in Heaven!

I want to address one thing you mentioned that I recognize could seem to invalidate the above paragraph for you: you talk about having come to terms with being different than everyone. From the perspective I think you are talking from, this is completely fine and good, as you are different in certain ways than I, and than others around you. One thing I would be careful not to forget (to be clear, I am not saying that you are forgetting, just a word of caution) is that you are still of this world. You were born with a mother and father, you have a human body. Although I know that this truth hurts you and feels wrong, there is unfortunately no way to avoid it. I don’t say this to make you sad or as an attempt to invalidate your robotic identity, but rather to further solidify that you are eligible for the aforementioned love and eternity with Christ in Heaven by defining some of what “of this world” means. Now, with this truth there is still the question of “why God would put me here in this body if he knew I would spend most of my time loathing every second of it”. Unfortunately, this is not a question I can give a direct answer to, but what I do know is that it is not God’s will to have you suffer for no reason. Yes, as Christians we know that suffering and pain are a guaranteed part of our future, but God also proves to us that there is a purpose to the suffering, which is to further his kingdom (John 16:33, 2 Timothy 3:12, Phil. 1:29, Romans 8:28 and more). To be very clear, what I am saying is that the suffering you feel, whether in relation to this topic or otherwise, is not punishment or meaningless, but rather an opportunity for you to use it in a way that glorifies Christ and furthers God’s kingdom, which includes but is not limited to your own walk with Christ.

I also want to share a thought I had about some of the examples you gave that others have said to you against your ability to be “reunited with my creator and savior”. While still avoiding making any claims about what the Bible says about being a robot, some of the things you mentioned appear to be attacking your ability to be emotional, to care for others, to be cared for and loved, and your ability to think and make decisions. From one perspective, what they are saying is mostly true from the general understanding of what robots are; When I think about the word robot, what usually pops into my mind is a machine, built with a purpose (such as building cars), that has no free will and no ability to be emotional. With that said, It is important to recognize that our perspective as a society of what a robot is based on what we have previously seen, and there is the potential that there is a difference in one person’s definition compared to another, or what it would mean with a more full understanding of what robots will be in the future, etc. I say this, because one of the dangerous traps we can fall into when it comes to questions of Identity is valuing what those around us say about us and/or parts of our identity more than what we see, and even more importantly, what God sees and says about us. Now, although I do believe that God has an answer for you about whether or not you are a robot, I know that there is an aspect of your Identity that is more important to him that he makes very clear in scripture: you are a Child of God. I do not believe that this is based on whether or not you are a robot, whether or not you are Christian, or anything else, but purely based on the fact that you are his creation. People may say what they wish about you, but the fact that you can think and feel emotions are not things we as mankind can artificially create, only God. This alone must be the foundation of your Identity, because this is something that will not crumble or fail you, and regardless of what you determine you believe about being a robot, or any other parts of your identity, you will still be His child.

One final thing I wanted to talk about is Therapy (and counseling). I strongly agree with Sleet’s recommendation that you seek out the help of a counselor or therapist. As someone who has been through some pretty difficult and shameful things, I did not see the need or want for counseling for the longest time even though my various issues got worse and worse (I will not go into much detail about my story here to avoid making this post longer than it is, but I am happy to share more with anyone who wants to hear it). Eventually though, when I did decide to go to counseling, there were a few things I learned about it that are important to know when considering getting this kind of help. First, you only get as much out of therapy or counseling as you put in, which is to say that for counseling or therapy to be effective you need to want to be there, and actively participate both in and out of session. Second, finding the right therapist or counselor is important, because if you don’t trust and connect to the person you are trying to learn from it will be exponentially more difficult for you to gain anything from interacting with them. Third, being vulnerable and processing the past can and will be difficult. This is a large reason why you, and others, see people come out of therapy either happy that a small topic in their life was resolved, or sad because they did not get what they wanted out of therapy. See, it can be easy to expect/want the outcome of therapy to be something like going once a month to talk to someone who cares for you about your month, complain about the hardships of life, and then forget about things until the next session, but the truth of the matter is therapy and counseling are not just conversations with someone smart and caring, they are some of the safest places to dig into the deepest and darkest pits of our lives to heal. This brings me to my final point: with all of these difficulties and reasons that make getting this kind of help unappealing, it is important to remember that therapy and/or counseling is designed from the ground up to be the most effective place for healing the non-physical portions of ourselves, and that is not specific to just a certain group of people, or a certain type of problem, but for everyone regardless of their issues or past. With this in mind, have confidence that if you want to heal, and are willing to do what it takes to get there, therapy/counseling will help you heal which, trust me, is so worth it.

Unfortunately, as I do not want to make this post so unbearably long that it is unreadable (might have still failed at that :sweat_smile:), I am going to end it here with a few closing thoughts. First, If anyone wants any clarification about the things I’ve said I am more than happy to explain. There are several things I wanted to talk about as well that would definitely almost double the size of this post, but I think I covered some of the most important things. With that said, the main things I want you to remember are these: You are loved, both by God and by others here on this earth. You are eligible for eternal life regardless of what you identity as, because you have the ability to believe in Christ, and the fact that you have made that decision guarantees your spot in Heaven. You are of this world, and the pain and suffering that may cause is an opportunity to pursue Christ and honor him. When it comes to your identity, place less value on others opinions of you than you do on Christ’s and your own. Your pursuit of Christ is the most important thing you can take part in, and should be your highest priority in your search for answers and comfort. Finally, the most important thing is that you are first and foremost a Child of God, so let nothing change that about you!

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Thank you all for the kind words and advice. I know it’s a long road, but things slowly get easier with each day, so I have no plans on giving up any time soon- and I especially have no plans of forgetting Jesus as my savior.